RAI - Social Action Department

Guidelines

GUIDELINES AGAINST BULLYING

In collaboration with

What is bullying?

Some tips to feel better
Decalogue against bullying
Useful numbers

For parents

For the school

1. What is bullying?

when you are insulted or threatened;

when you are pushed, kicked and punched and they make you fall over;

when you are named with unpleasant nicknames and ridiculed;

when there are nasty rumours about you;

when you are offended for your race or your gender;

when you are giggled;

when they use a language code before you;

when you receive offensive sms, e-mails and phone-calls;

when you are ignored;

when you forced to do things you do not want to;

when you stolen or hidden your books, snacks and other things.

The bully repeats these behaviours and you are not able to defend yourself.

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2. Some tips to feel better

It is difficult to bully you if you tell a friend what is happening to you.
When the bully wants to provoke you, ignore them and go away. If they want to force you to do what you do not want to, tell them “NO” clearly and decisively.
If the others think that you are scared of the bully and are escaping from them, do not worry. Remember that the bully cannot annoy you if you do not want to listen to them.
The bully likes seeing you reacting, getting angry or crying. If you are provoked, try to stay calm, do not look scared or sad. If you do not react, the bully will lose their interest and leave you in peace.
When the bully provoke or hurt you, do not react fighting. If you fight with him, you could even worsen the situation, hurt yourself or be blamed for it.
If the bully wants your things, it is not worth fighting. Let them take what they want and tell an adult about it immediately.
Make the bully understand that you are not scared and that you are smarter. In this way you will embarrass them and they will leave you in peace.
The bully often provokes you when you are alone. If you are near the adults and other friends that can help you, the bully will not annoy you.
In order not to meet the bully, you can change the way you usually do to go to school; during the break, stay close to the other mates and adults; use the toilet only when there are other people.
Every time the bully hurts you, write it down on your diary. This will help you to remember how things happened.
Bullying makes you feel bad. Talk about it with an adult you trust, with your parents, your teachers, your doctor. You cannot make it on your own!
If you know about someone who is bullied, tell an adult immediately. This is not spying, but helping someone. You might find yourself in the same situation and you would be happy if someone helped you!
If you meet a street patroller, ask him for help.
Do not stay alone, but make a lot of friends. Against bullies, the more the better!

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3. Decalogue against bullying

WHAT TO DO:

always tell your parents everything;
tell them about bullying behaviours, if you are the victim, or the witness, or you know about it;
defend, whenever possible, the friends victimized by bullies;
treat all your mates the same way;
look for help from your teachers or other school staff or friends, if you are threatened.

WHAT NOT TO DO:

offend the others, especially the weakest;
hide your parents that someone is hurting you;
lie;
exclude a mate you do not like;
take advantage on the weakest mates.

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4. Useful numbers

800 669696 anti-bullying help-line created by the Ministry of Education
113 State Police
19696 Telefono Azzurro (free-of-charge help-line for children until the age of 14)
199 151515 Telefono Azzurro (help-line for children from the age of 14 onward and for adults)
114 Childhood Emergency
112 Carabinieri (Italian Armed Police)

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5. For parents

In order to prevent children from bullying, it is necessary to:

teach them to express their anger in a mature and constructive way;

communicate in a sincere way;

teach them to identify with the others and understand the consequences of their own behaviours;

take example from the positive values they see at home;

Parents must also learn to become aware of the signals that their children can give or hide them.
Here are some of the signals of those who are victims of bullying:

they find excuses not to go to school or want to be accompanied;
they ask for money repeatedly;
they are very tense and sad after school;
they have bruises, cuts, scratches or clothes ripped;
they sleep badly or wet the bed;
they say they have no friends;
they refuse to say what happens at school.

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6. For the school

It can be useful to submit a questionnaire to the pupils and organize a debate day with parents and teachers. It is important to understand the phenomenon.
A better control activity during the break and lunch time could help the potential victims. These are the times when the bullies act the most being unwatched.
Generally speaking, the oldest students bully the youngest ones. A solution could be separating spaces and times of breaks.
Prizes, recompenses and punishments may help change the behaviours of the most aggressive students, but these are not the only way.
It often happens that the victim is scared or ashamed of what is happening. It would be helpful to have a help-line to call both for parents and victims.
A “bullying box” could help to leave notes about what happens; student-leaders could be appointed to help the victims; a psychological and pedagogical help desk could be set to help both children and adults.
In class, some simple rules could be established to fight bullying behaviours. The rules must be display clearly so that everybody can see and follow them.
Silence and secrets help the bullies. It is important to teach the kids to tell what happens without hiding the truth.
If the teacher recognizes a bully or a victim, it is necessary to talk with the latter immediately about what is happening.